Magic Winx! Fanfictionix!
by Akela Victoire
Summary: Abandon all hope, ye who enter here. Beyond this link lies a collection of stories which parody some of the most clichéd trends in Winx Club fanfiction. Be warned- or if you have a twisted mind, enjoy… (Dedicated to Chibi Horsewoman)
1. Bloom Has Another Sister?

This story will actually be a collection of one-shots _**parodying**_ all the horrifying (and maybe less horrifying!) trends in Winx Club fanfiction and fanfiction in general.

I dedicate this to _**Chibi Horsewoman**_, who is the inspiration for the crazy and all the cool authors who hang out over at Winx Writers Anonymous. You know who you are. :)

* * *

Bloom was cornered by the Trix witches in Magix. All alone.

The other members of the Winx Club were nowhere to be found.

Once again, Bloom found herself alone in Magix and cornered by the Trix. Because it's always them who cause trouble.

No one else.

There is no one else who would _possibly_ want the power she has, want to kill her so she can't stop their nefarious plans or get revenge against her of some sort.

Always the Trix…

"You know, I get a sense of déjà vu from this…" Darcy commented.

Bloom of Domino, Fairy of the Dragon's Flame aka the most powerful magic in the universe, found herself beaten by the witches _again._

Never mind the fact that she kicked serious ass at the Battle of Alfea…

"Well, well, well. Here we are again, Bloom. Not even your mighty Dragon's Flame can help you now!" Icy cackled a very evil cackle now.

"Perhaps you should give it up to someone who can handle it!" Stormy smiled a slasher smile.

With that, the three witches raised their hands to attack once again, but were suddenly blasted away by a large ball of fire.

When it cleared, another fairy stood between the Trix and Bloom.

She was gorgeous, with long, thick, luxurious wavy auburn hair with a golden tiara holding it up in a high ponytail and bright emerald green eyes- that changed colours. She was perfectly tanned and had a perfect figure and perfectly pink lips and makeup.

Her perfect frilly multi-layered backless knee-length dress was lilac, pink, gold and white, looking like something that a children's doll or perhaps a ballerina would be wearing.

Her perfect wings were a gorgeous rose colour dotted with white and gold and judging by their size and shape, she was an Enchantix fairy.

"Stay away from Bloom, you evil Trix!" She cried- perfectly.

"Or what?" Icy snapped.

"Or _this!_ Dragon's Fury!" The girl roared.

Her hair whipped around her head as she rose her arms above her head and immediately sent the Trix into oblivion.

Bloom stood up weakly, detransforming as she did.

"Who are you and how were you able to use the Dragon Fire?" She asked cautiously.

"Bloom, is that any way to talk to your older sister?" the older fairy held out her arms as if to give her a hug.

"Wait, what?" Bloom backed away, eyes widening.

Screech stop.

"I'm your long, lost sister, Bloom!"

_And the car just crashed._

"What? I don't have a sister. Daphne is my only sister!" Bloom cried.

"No, she's not. She sent away_ two _young fairies from Domino that fateful day when our home world was destroyed…" The mysterious female wiped away a crystal tear from her kaleidoscope eyes.

"You're crazy" Bloom fired off a fireball, but the mysterious and somewhat creepy woman flicked it away as if it were a mere fly.

"No, I'm not crazy. You're my baby sister, Bloom. Daphne was the oldest, I was the middle and you were the youngest!"

"Why are you just coming to me then?" Bloom raised an eyebrow.

"I was sent away to a distant realm with no way of remembering fully what had happened that fateful day…" The older fairy said wistfully.

"Then I kept having these dreams that told me to find someone who looked like you. The dream also showed me visions of a young woman, a young child and a little baby. Daphne, me and _you,_ Bloom…" She smiled.

"Uh-huh…" Bloom was still in doubt. "And you haven't told me your name either?"

She giggled. "How silly of me! How could I expect to get to know my sister and she doesn't even know my name?"

"My name is Alysyn Saskue Ruby Phoenix Raven Scarlette Hilton-Kardashian."

Bloom's eyes practically bulged out of her head at hearing her supposed sister's name.

"Wh-what kind of a name is that?" Bloom whispered.

"Certainly not a Mary-Sue name, that's for sure!" Alysyn chuckled.

"_Really now?"_ Bloom thought.

"Now come on. We're sisters. We share the Dragon's Fire- and yet I'm still more powerful than you!"

Just then, a collection of evil villains who wanted their powers or revenge came up to attack them, but Alysyn flicked them all away effortlessly with a sweep of fire.

"See?"

Bloom's jaw dropped.

"Now let's go back to Alfea and I'm sure they'll be able to fix you up."

"No. No way in hell am I going anywhere with you. People call _me_ a Mary-Sue? They obviously haven't met you!" Bloom stood up and transformed.

"Forget this! I am _so _out of here!" Bloom flew away as quickly as her wings could carry her.

At this, Alysyn Saskue Ruby Phoenix Raven Scarlette Bailey-Hilton sunk to the ground wailing.

"Why does everyone always abandon me?" She cried.

* * *

Yep, all the stories about Bloom's long lost relative do get annoying after a while...

I have a story in a similar vein to this called _**Sisters**_. I'd love it if you could go check it out!

Read, review and if you have any suggestions, let me know! I have a list of trends I've seen here, but who knows? Perhaps I missed something!


	2. Another Member of the Winx Club

Princess Lynn Alexandra Carly Yumi Jade Violet of the Kingdom of Mikashikashanga stood at the gates of the prestigious Alfea College for Fairies nervously.

Her parents, the King and Queen of Mikashikashanga had sent her here to get her fairy education. They were very controlling parents and expected nothing less than excellence from her while attending. While she wasn't a first year but rather entering her third and final year, the start of the school year always made her nervous.

They were also rather old-fashioned and as such, had placed her in an arranged marriage with a man she did not love. She would have to marry Prince Pryce Jonathan Eminem Brian Michelangelo Yagami of the Kingdom of Kolomodomediais in order to unite the kingdoms.

After Griselda had cleared her and her much more normal sister Princess Jessica- a freshman- for entry, she stepped through the winged gates and made her way to the dorms, where she would have her own deluxe apartment all for herself. That was the good part of all of this at least. She wouldn't have to share_ her_ space. Jessica would be sharing another dorm room with four other girls. Tough luck for her.

The next day, she was getting ready to go to the assembly that officially started off the school year. In the full-length mirror in front of her, she looked at her black waist-length hair which was in two braids at one side of her head, had front bangs and rainbow streaks that hid her sparkling sapphire eyes slightly.

Looking down at her _beautiful_ outfit that consisted of a black Twilight long-sleeved t-shirt (Never mind that as a non-Earthling she _should _have no clue as to what Twilight is!), a knee-length pleated jeans skirt and black ankle boots, she adjusted her silver hoop earrings and bangles and stepped out for the assembly.

When she got there, she found that all the good seats were taken. Drat!

But then her eyes lit on one available seat. She'd just have to sit there then!

"Hey there, can I sit next to you? All the other good seats are full…" She asked the red-headed fairy sitting there.

"Sure!" Bloom exclaimed cheerfully.

"Hey, Bloom! My name is Lynn Alexandra Carly Yumi Jade Violet. You can just call me Lynn though." Lynn smiled her smile. It was such a perfect, dazzling smile that would rival the dazzle of Solaria's suns.

We now magically skip to the episode where the witches of Cloud Tower are attacking Alfea.

Lynn transforms to fight alongside the Winx, who have apparently bonded with her in some scenes which we have missed.

"Lynn, Magix Winx!"

Her transformation outfit is a sparkly form-fitting dress that reaches mid-thigh that is rainbow coloured in vertical stripes. She has black leggings, rainbow coloured ankle boots and lavender butterfly shaped wings.

Nobody would miss her in those colours, that's for certain…

"RAINBOW SPARKLE!" She blew rainbow coloured dust towards the incoming witches and managed to blow at least a dozen of them right across the courtyard.

"Nice one, Lynn!" Aisha and Stella called out.

"Thanks!" She gave her new friend the thumbs-up. Aisha and Stella themselves were fighting well, she thought. Those Enchantix wings really worked well for them. She had been there when both of them earned their Enchantix, having gotten close enough to them in the short time she'd known them to be invited along on both trips…

Out the corner of her eye, she saw her little sister Jessica being cornered by at least six witches.

Lynn shook her head. When would her little sister learn? She always had to be the one to save the day!

Swooping in, she flew directly into the path of the witches' energy blasts and collapsed.

"Lynn!" Jessica screamed in overly theatrical anguish, holding her sister's body. "Talk to me, my beloved sister! I love you! I'm sorry I stole your lipstick!"

Just then, a miraculous, wonderful, brilliant thing happened as rainbow coloured light surrounded her and angelic music began to play. But oh, what could it be? What could this mysterious event be? The suspense is killing us all!

_*cue Enchantix music*_

When the light cleared, Lynn was standing there, looking totally different. Her hair was as long as Rapunzel's, but braided up, she had a silver tiara with rainbow coloured gems in it and she wore a pink pair of shorts with rainbow frills around the leg holes, a pink halter top that stopped just below her chest with rainbow frills at the bottom, silver sandals with rainbow coloured gems on the big toes and large, rainbow coloured butterfly shaped wings.

"Oh, congratulations, Lynn! You've got your Enchantix powers! You're so beautiful!"

"I know. And don't think I'll forget about the lipstick. That was the limited edition Crystal Lilac…"

At the end of the fight when the witches retreated, Lynn discovered that Musa had also earned her Enchantix.

The two new Enchantix fairies hugged one another tightly and squeed as the other Winx present in the nearly burnt-out library watched on in happiness that two of their own had earned their Enchantix.

Later on, she is in the Omega Dimension with the other Winx Club members.

"RAINBOW DARTS!" She yelled, firing off at the ice snake there, pinning it to the wall.

"Good job, Lynn. Now let's get outta here!" Tecna cried.

Once they'd gotten out, they all decided to go celebrate at the White Horse.

Lynn had brought along Jessica and Prince Pryce Jonathan Eminem Brian Michelangelo Yagami of the Kingdom of Kolomodomediais, her fiancé, who oddly enough had also become friends with the Specialists and had joined their squad.

Jessica wandered off to talk to some friends of hers she spotted coming in, while she and Pryce sat together alone, awkwardly trying to have a conversation about their future.

Man, was it awkward. It was as awkward as when Bloom found out about Sky.

Only more awkward.

"Well, the wedding is this summer after we both graduate…" Pryce said. He was a handsome, muscular boy with curly chestnut brown locks and hypnotic silver coloured eyes.

"Yes, that is true. Hey, wait a minute. Why are we being so awkward? We should just get this awkwardness over with. Let's just make out right here in the middle of this restaurant!" Lynn exclaimed.

And so they did.

It was no longer awkward for them, but it certainly was for the other people in the restaurant…

Sometime later, Lynn and Pryce are dancing together at the party Alfea hosted after Valtor was finally defeated.

"This is so much fun! I'm glad we finally got to relax after helping to defeat Valtor!" She smiled at her loving fiancé from an arranged marriage as she glanced over at Aisha and _her _loving fiancé from an arranged marriage having a good time together and eventually sharing a kiss.

"I think we should follow their example too!" Lynn kissed her arranged fiancé who she had, quite predictably, come to love.

Near the end of the party, her friends the Winx Club called her over to take pictures with them.

"Really? You want me to take pictures with you too?" She asked shyly- never mind that she has supposedly been friends with them for the past school year…

"Of course! We want _all_ the members of the Winx Club to be in these pictures!" Bloom beckoned her over.

Princess Lynn Alexandra Carly Yumi Jade Violet of the Kingdom of Mikashikashanga skipped over to them happily, feeling as if the sun was inside her chest radiating happiness.

She had become a Winx Club member, had real friends, got her Enchantix powers, was extremely powerful and beautiful, plus had a wonderful fiancé from an arranged marriage that she grew to love.

Life was perfect.

* * *

Yep, there's always these Mary-Sues that come out of nowhere and join the Winx, just like that! Aisha took quite a few episodes to become friends with the Winx and accepted into the Club, Roxy was never made a Winx and yet these Sues can? Really now?

Keep on reviewing, peeps! Any other trends you've spotted that you want me to cover?


	3. The Last Last Fairy of Earth

This chapter is especially dedicated to _**LoveLoveLovix**_, who's actually written a brilliant "Magic returns to Earth" story called _**Fly or Fall**_ featuring Roxy and a collection of OC's of all types that actually aren't Sues/Stu's. Here's to seeing another update soon! _Hint, hint…_

* * *

Hey there! Let me tell you about myself!

**Name: **Sasha Carrie Robyn Topaz Anastasia Lopez-Smith

**Age: **13

**Birthday: **June 14th

**Hometown: **Detroit, Michigan

**Hair: **Mid-back length, curly dirty blonde hair held back by a pink headband with a pink bow on the right side

**Eyes: **sparkling emerald green eyes

**Body Type: **Petite (People always tell me I look like a model.)

**Clothes: **One-shoulder pink top that shows off my stomach, white ankle-length leggings, pink open-toe high heel boots.

**Personality: **I may look cute, but I'm a tough rebellious chick on the inside who won't let life get her down!

Sorry about putting you through that guys. I am simply too lazy to describe myself in paragraph form and must think that you are too dumb to figure out what I look like and what I'm like in paragraph form so that is why I put up a character sheet instead of trying to start off the story like a normal person.

I live in a suburb of Detroit, Michigan, called Ghettoville. Man, life here is so hard. For starters, my parents were evil, abusive people who sold drugs for a living. They might have been better when I was a baby, but as soon as I turned three, it all changed.

They started beating me, berating me and starving me. I lived off a diet of stale food and leftovers- if I was lucky enough to get any of that in a day…

I cried every day. I suffered so much!

And as soon as I hit puberty when I was nine, I caught my dad's attention in a different way. He molested me nightly while my mother watched, simply not caring. In fact, he even brought his friends over sometimes and made it into a party.

I had a friend named Keisha. She was my best friend. And I say _was,_ as in past tense, because she died. We were walking home together from Ghettoville Middle School (where I am the best student) when there was a drive-by shooting. She was shot and died. I miss her!

I cried some more.

Then one day, I came home from school, fully expecting my parents to start their "Yell at Sasha" routine.

They didn't.

Something was wrong.

I heard footsteps and screaming coming up the stairs so I ducked into my lavishly decorated room- never mind my parents were so abusive and hardly fed me well, they actually gave me a nice room.

I slid under the bed and pulled the sheets down over the sides to hide.

Just in time as two big, burly men I didn't recognize dragged my mother into the room and began to rape her too.

When they were done, they slapped her around, demanding where the money was. I guess being the crooks they were, they tried to short somebody money in a drug deal…

They got tired of it and I got to see my mother murdered right in front of my eyes. The knife kept coming down into her chest repeatedly and they even shot her between the eyes for good measure.

When the police came, the crooks were long gone and I found out that my dad was dead as well.

Now, being a poor, tragic, abused orphan, I was sent to the local orphanage.

Life there wasn't much better.

At least until I found out I was the Last Fairy of Earth™.

I never would have seen it coming.

On the TV, these beautiful fairies had come from another world, they said, to free the imprisoned Earth Fairies. They thought that that Roxy girl was the last fairy, but they were wrong.

They said that they thought another fairy was out there and were going to find her.

I really liked magic and fairies and stuff, but I was always made fun of it at Ghettoville Middle School. School sucks.

Then one day while I was walked through a local park, I saw the sky grow dark and felt a chill descend.

What the hell? It's summer! It's not supposed to be cold!

"Hello there, _fairy._"

I whipped around to the voice and saw a mean looking guy with long, red hair, flapping around in the non-existent breeze, a guy with long, flappy blond hair with a black hat on top and a dark-skinned guy with brownish-black short dreadlocks pulled into one on top of his head.

Who could these people possibly be? You could never tell, audience. You could never tell!

The blond guy sent something like sound waves, which sent me bowling through the air, clutching my ears in pain.

"You think that hurts, you should try this!" The redhaired guy sent some sort of weird energy at me, which sent me crashing into a tree, where I screamed out in pain.

"This is just _too easy…_" Dreadlocks grinned as he touched hands with the other two weird guys and they formed some weird, purple circle thingie that began to suck me in.

We still don't know who they are, audience! Who could they be? Who do the clues indicate they are?

Then all of a sudden, these weird guys were blasted off their feet!

When I looked up, I saw seven beautiful fairies standing between me and the weird guys.

One of them, Roxy, came over to me and helped me up.

"Are you okay?" She asked me.

I nodded, even though I was feeling downright confused. Where did all these magical people come from? And why were they here for me?

"You're not getting the Last Fairy of Earth™, Ogron!" Bloom exclaimed.

Bloom. She's my favourite! Imagine, I'll actually get to meet her! _Squee!_

Wait, _Ogron?_ Didn't they say they sent them to some weird prison realm?

"Come on! We have to get you out of here!" Roxy flew off with me while the Wizards were distracted.

While I was up in the air with her, the pieces started to fit into place.

Those… were the Wizards of the Black Circle- at least what was left of them! They were after _me!_ I was the fairy the Winx Club said they were after!

Me! A fairy! I couldn't believe it!

"All my life, I wanted to be a fairy and now, it's happening. I can't believe it!" I squeed.

Roxy laughed. "I didn't. In fact, I was downright terrified when I found out I was a fairy. In fact, I was in a similar situation to you when the Winx had to come rescue me…"

A few minutes later, we landed on the front step of the orphanage, where some of the others there looked at us in awe.

"What's your name by the way?" Roxy asked.

"Sasha Carrie Robyn Topaz Anastasia Lopez-Smith."

"Wow, that's a mouthful! Mind if I just call you Sasha?"

"Go on ahead! It's what everyone calls me!"

"Well, Sasha, why don't you go get your stuff now? You're the new Last Fairy of Earth™. You don't have to stay here. You can come live in Tir Nan Og!" She exclaimed.

I broke out into a smile. "Really?"

"Yes, really!" She said, smiling.

"Woo! I'll show you where my dorm is!" I raced inside the house, barely giving time to Roxy to retract her wings so they wouldn't hit the door.

She half-flew, half-dragged behind me as I ran up to the dorm and the door opened to reveal my startled dorm mates.

"SUCK IT, BITCHES!" I made the victory sign in the air as I packed up my few, but expensive possessions.

We left the orphanage and the administrators had no problem whatsoever with the fact that I was a fairy and a strange young woman who had wings was taking me away. In fact, they encouraged it.

Soon enough, she made some silver disc appear in her hand and threw it into the air where a silvery portal formed above us.

"Let's go!" She grabbed my hand and flew up through the portal and we found ourselves in the beautiful Tir Nan Og.

I soon met the lovely Queen Nebula who told me what being a fairy involved and that she'd run some tests on me to see what kinds of powers I had.

She had some other fairy scan me with a weird thing that looked like a television remote, except those don't sweep you with a bright, white light…

"Well, congratulations, Sasha! You are the Fairy of Light!" Queen Nebula smiled at me.

I beamed. Literally as well as figuratively.

Sometime later, I was in training with some of the Warrior Fairies.

I had finally gotten my own wings. My long-sleeved dress was knee length and pale yellow with a dark gold bow around my waist which tied in the back. A gold ruffle held my hair up in a ponytail and gold strappy flat sandals adorned my feet. My wings were shaped like Tinkerbell's.

"Blinding Light!" I exclaimed.

The light blinded everyone in the room until it faded out.

"Wow, Sasha! You're so powerful!" Someone exclaimed.

"Thanks!" I smiled.

After that, it was a year since I found about my powers and it came time to send the Wizards of the Black Circle back to where they came from. I was allowed to come along, never mind I was only a basic level fairy and Roxy at least had her Charmix…

As they all converged our strongest spells, I did too.

"COSMIC BLAST!" I cried.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The Wizards cried as they were finally defeated once and for all.

Earth was safe from them once again- thanks to _me. _

Now I could go to Alfea in peace, never mind the fact that I was only fourteen…

* * *

Here we go. The new Earth fairy shtick. Now FoF is the only one _**I've seen**_ with Earth fairies who have no sort of Magix ancestry or links being found after magic begins to return to Earth- that isn't a wish-fulfilling, self-insert Suetopia. If you see any good ones, be sure to let me know. Gems of Winx could always use some more additions!

And as for the rape and other things mentioned in this chapter, we all know how tragic these OC's tend to be (which will be covered fully in a future chapter!), but I'm not making fun of that. I'm making fun of the fact that if anyone went through all that IRL, they'd probably be headed to the nuthouse by now- but this Sue doesn't. Just to clear the air folks.


	4. Pregnancy Doesn't Work That Way

I highly recommend Chibi's fic **_The Importance of Being Celibate_**, a parody fic in which she parodies the very topic of this chapter!

* * *

The Winx Club are seen in a large house somewhere in Magix that they've probably hired out, dancing with their boyfriends and having an overall good time.

The music was pounding loudly, the alcohol was flowing plentifully and everyone was also drinking more alcohol than they should have been.

Though one has to wonder how safe it is to have alcohol inside a walking matchstick otherwise known as a certain Fairy of the Dragon's Flame, but of course, they were all too drunk out of their minds to consider this.

Hell, even Flora, the quiet, shy, supposedly innocent one of the group was dancing on top of a table with Helia cheering her on.

They'd all be singing _Blame it on the Alcohol_ in the morning…

Pressing fast forward, they've all gone to bed with their respective partners and…

They begin saying lovey-dovey stuff to each other in their drunken stupor that they probably won't remember in the morning.

And the natural progression from that?

Do you _really_ want to know?

_Are you sure?_

Well, I the narrator warned you…

The author proceeds to describe the sex in a manner similar to an IKEA instruction manual except with more flowery words that they probably do not understand the meaning of.

In fact, just replace the names of the characters that are supposed to be having sex (but because of the many attempts at symbolism and poetic-ness failing, you can't quite tell what they're doing) and this could be a sex scene in any fandom. Harry Potter, Law and Order: U.K., hell even Scooby-Doo if you're into stuff like that. I'm not here to judge…

Anyway, a few weeks afterwards, all six of the Winx Club girls were beginning to display _mysterious symptoms…_

_Uh-oh…_

"Hey, does anyone have any antacids?" Stella called out.

"Not so loud!" Flora took a break between bouts of vomiting into the toilet bowl to glare, before going back to vomiting.

"Great Dragon, I could really do with some tuna and vanilla ice-cream. I don't know why. I just want some so _bad!_" Bloom exclaimed.

"Please don't talk about food…" Flora moaned, as she finally stopped vomiting her guts out and brushed her teeth vigorously.

"I feel like if I've been hit by a hovercraft…" Tecna moaned as Musa ran to take Flora's place in the bathroom.

"Major headache coming on over here…" Aisha moaned.

"My stomach feels awful and I feel like I'm under one of Darcy's _Vertigo_ spells…" Stella flopped into a chair.

Musa flopped into a corner of the bathroom crying. Five seconds later, she was snapping at everyone else.

"Hold on a minute. Girls, all these symptoms we're showing..." Aisha pondered aloud.

Oh, what could be wrong here? What could this shocking secret _possibly_ be? What are these the symptoms of? I'm absolutely perplexed!

What could _possibly _be happening here?

Is it:

**a)** They've been hit by a curse in one of their (almost) daily fights with the villain of the day?

**b)** One of their own spells gone wrong?

**c)** Someone was sick and spread it all around?

How about: **d)** None of the above?

"I think we might be pregnant, girls…" Aisha said quietly.

Well, what do you know? The answer is _**d!**_

All hell broke loose.

"Oh my DRAGON! What the hell are we going to do?" Flora cried.

Musa just started raging angrily. As in, throwing objects around the room angrily.

Flora snarled at her and she immediately went quiet and sunk into a chair.

"Oh my goodness. My father's going to kill me!" Musa exclaimed.

"My parents will kill me first! They wanted an heir _after_ Nabu and I were married!" Aisha cried.

"Forget our parents. How do I tell Timmy? This is the most illogical situation I've ever been in!" Tecna exclaimed.

"It's not illogical, stupid! That's what happens when you have sex!" Stella snapped.

"Will you all stop your whining? Great Dragon! I need a steak! A nice, juicy steak. Preferably before I have to tell Helia that he knocked me up!" Flora shouted.

_**Somewhere else in the Magical Dimension…**_

"I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. _**I hate this!**_" Stormy exclaimed angrily.

"You don't think I hate being pregnant too?" Darcy snapped.

"We've all gotten pregnant at the same time it seems. We must raise our daughters to become the next generation of Trix and succeed where we have failed!" Icy cackled evilly.

_Then a bunch of stuff happens, but nobody cares about that, so let's skip ahead, shall we?_

_**Several months later, somewhere in Linphea…**_

A heavily pregnant Flora lumbered around the small apartment she was now sharing with Helia, eating a bacon cheeseburger with onion rings and washing it down with several gallons of red soda.

"Flora, are you sure it's wise to be eating all that, especially when you're due any day now?" he asked.

"DON'T YOU TELL ME-" As Flora started her tirade, she felt her water break.

_**At the same time, on the planet of Andros…**_

Aisha and Nabu had gotten married in a small ceremony almost as soon as they had told their parents, in order to cover up their… indiscretion. To say that their parents had been pissed would have been a mere understatement.

Anyways, Aisha and Nabu are talking as they relax in their bedroom when she sits up suddenly.

"Aisha, are you alright?" Nabu asks.

Aisha remains silent for about a minute and then groans. "No… Nabu, I think my water just broke…"

_**In Melody, also at the same time…**_

As it turned out, Musa's father actually hadn't killed Riven. He had certainly come close though and now if boggarts existed in the Winx Club universe, Riven's boggart would be Musa's father…

As Musa was rummaging around in the refrigerator for some water, she felt her water break and dropped the glass she was holding.

"RIVEN!" she screeched. "GET YOUR ASS IN HERE AND TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL NOW! I'M IN LABOUR! AAH!"

Riven came skidding in, looking terrified.

_**Simultaneously, in Zenith…**_

Tecna was looking up advice about pregnancy and childbirth on her large-screened computer. She barely fit at the desk due to her bulging belly and she was getting grumpier and grumpier every day.

As she saw some advice about labour and childbirth, she felt her own labour start and began screaming for Timmy to take her to the hospital.

_**Simultaneously in a room of the Solarian Royal Palace…**_

Stella was screaming bloody murder as she went into labour. It was the worst pain she had felt in her entire life! Being bloated for nine months with a miniature human leeching off you, having these weird cravings and having to pee all the time… She thought that was bad, but this was _definitely _worse!

"BRANDON, I SWEAR TO THE GREAT DRAGON THAT YOUR LITTLE STICK WILL NEVER BE ALLOWED NEAR ME EVER AGAIN!" she roared, accidentally letting off some magical, blinding energy.

_**Simultaneously in a private hospital room on Domino…**_

Bloom was screaming at the top of her lungs and threatening the doctors and nurses with the power of the Dragon's Flame if they didn't get "the thing" out of her and quickly.

"HURRY UP! AAH!" Bloom's hair was literally on fire, setting fire to the flowers on the bedside table.

"Good evening Your Majesties…" A very brave doctor stepped into the room- with a terrified Sky just in front of him.

"I'm the Royal Doctor and I'm a very smart person, so you must to listen to me. According to the laws of Imaginary Medicine, your baby may die unless we perform an extremely precarious operation. Are you prepared to go through some mild trauma? Or shall we just tell the public the baby was still-born and off it for you now?"

"DO THE OPERATION AND LET ME HAVE MY KID! HOW COULD YOU EVEN CONSIDER SUCH A THING?!" Bloom roared, setting fire to the doctor's hair.

_What will happen now? Shall we hold our breaths in anticipation? Wait for it, wait for it…_

All six of the Winx Club's babies are born at the exact same moment that day and all of them are girls.

Bloom's daughter's name is Flamer, Flora's daughter's name is Flower, Stella's daughter's name is Sunny, Musa's daughter's name is Melody, Tecna's daughter's name is Digita and Aisha's daughter's name is River. What wonderful and creative names, huh?

Somewhere else in the magical universe, the Trix are also holding their new-born daughters while the doctors and nurses they kidnapped months ago tend to them.

As Icy looked down at her new daughter Glacier, Darcy looked at her daughter Shadow and Stormy looked at her daughter Cloud, all three witches cackled evilly and the babies they held seemed to be smirking evilly as well…

* * *

It's nigh impossible for all six of the Winx girls to fall pregnant and give birth at the _exact same time. _It doesn't work that way folks. Girls can get synchronized on the period cycle after living together for a while. They might all get pregnant within the same year and give birth within weeks-months of each other, but the exact same day? Come on!

I guess from this, you can all tell what's coming next, a particular bane of mine…

Suggestions still welcomed!


	5. Winx: The Next Generation

A girl with shiny, long red hair with blonde streaks pulled back into a ponytail and bright, sapphire blue eyes that were as clear as the sky above looked back at the winged gates of Alfea College for Fairies as she passed through them.

Her Royal Highness Princess Flamer of Domino-Eraklyon was starting her first day there, just like her mother Queen Bloom of Domino had several years ago.

"Hey, Flamer! Look who's here!" A girl that looked like a colour-over of a younger Queen Stella of Solaria except with dark brown hair came up to her wearing a gorgeous knee-length dress that her mother had designed for her. It was orange, with gold trimming and lots of frills.

Did I, the narrator say _gorgeous_ dress? I meant, gorgeous to _her_, that is…

"Sunny! How are you?" Flamer squealed as the two girls hugged tightly.

"I'm great. Mom took me shopping for a whole "Welcome to Alfea" wardrobe! So much fun!" Sunny exclaimed.

"Digita called. She said we're all in the same room, just like our moms were! Isn't that great? Let's go!" Sunny practically dragged Flamer off.

Princess Flamer and Princess Sunny soon arrived at the same dorm room that their mothers had shared and found Flora's daughter Flower putting up some plants in the living room.

Flower looked like a colour-over of her mother, except with black hair.

"Hello Flamer, Sunny. Your room's over there…" She thumbed behind her.

Just then, a girl that looked like a carbon copy of Aisha came in behind them.

"Hey everybody! It's good to see you all again!" Princess River of Andros entered the room and looked for the bedroom she'd occupy.

"Indeed it is."

A girl stood in the doorway that looked exactly like Musa, except with whatever colour eyes Riven has.

"Melody of Melody has arrived! Time to start the party!" She exclaimed.

"Just let me get my earplugs first!" Digita looked exactly like her mother, except she had Timmy's eyes.

Melody glared at her.

"So we're all here now! Good! Flamer and I will be sharing of course." Sunny said. "And Melody and River, then Digita and Flower."

"Hey, let's get down to assembly! They won't wait on us forever!" Flamer exclaimed.

They all laughed and joked and became the best of friends as they left the apartment.

Meanwhile, at Cloud Tower, three new witches also occupied the same room their mothers had when they attended.

One had long, sleek, platinum blonde hair in a high ponytail and piercing, icy blue eyes.

The second had brown hair with dark blonde streaks that hung down to her knees and grey eyes behind a pair of glasses.

The third had frizzy, shoulder-length black hair and dark blue eyes.

All of them looked evil.

I wonder who these three witches could _possibly_ be…

"We've arrived at Cloud Tower at last…" The blonde smirked evilly.

"We'll take over this place, just like our mothers did, Glacier." Brown-hair said.

"I can't wait! Magix could do with a witchy re-decoration!" Frizzy-hair exclaimed.

"Damn right, Cloud!" Glacier exclaimed. "Now let's go, Shadow, Cloud. We have an assembly to go to and it simply won't do to be late."

"But we'll take over this place eventually. Why bother?" Cloud asked, sounding irritated.

"Idiot! We have to lay low a bit. We can't just announce that we're the Trix daughters so quickly. We have to come up with a plan to steal the Dragon's Flame from that pesky fairy Flamer!" Shadow slapped Cloud around the head.

"Shadow's right. Now let's go!" Glacier signalled for them to follow her with a hand with long, claw-like fingernails.

Later on, Flamer, Sunny, Flower, Digita, Melody and River are in Magix shopping, with Sunny in the lead.

As Sunny reached for a dark red mini-dress, hands with black-polished talons closed around the hanger.

"What are you doing in here, _fairy?_" A frizzy-haired mean girl snapped. "This is witch territory!"

"Witch territory, my ass. This is Magix. Anyone can shop here if they feel like it. Why don't _you_ back off, _witch?_" Sunny snapped back.

Minutes later, they are all outside, getting ready to fight.

"Girls, let's transform!" Flamer cried.

"MAGIX WINX!"

All six fairies transformed.

Flamer's transformation outfit was just like her mother's except red, Flower's transformation outfit was just like her mother's except green, Sunny's transformation outfit was just like her mother's except gold, Melody's transformation outfit was just like her mother's except lilac, Digita's transformation outfit was just like her mother's except peach and River's transformation outfit was just like her mother's except light blue.

Carbon copies of their mothers indeed, even down to their fairy forms…

"DRAGON'S BREATH!" Flamer cried, before blowing a gust of flame towards the three witches, who flew out of the way narrowly.

Speaking of transformation outfits, let's get to the witches' outfits, shall we?

Glacier's outfit is just like her mother's except dark grey, even having a light grey "G" on the front.

Shadow's outfit is like her mother's except black and has an "S" on the front.

Cloud's outfit is like her mother's except navy blue and has a "C" on the front.

A few minutes later, being as powerful and God Mode Sue-like as her mother, Flamer has single-handedly put down the witches.

"Yay! We did it! Let's go back to Alfea! Now that we've beaten some witches, we're just like our moms!" Flamer exclaimed happily.

"Yeah, we're the next Winx Club!" Sunny exclaimed.

"It's like we're the Winx Club 2.0!" Digita added.

They all looked at one another for a few seconds.

"WINX CLUB 2.0!" They all cheered as they flew back to Alfea.

An undistinguished amount of time later, Flamer has gone out shopping to go on a date with Prince Edward of Sparkletopia, who is currently the top student at Red Fountain.

She goes to an expensive store that Queen Stella recommended to Sunny and in turn Sunny recommended to her.

She finds a sparkly pink puffy-sleeved dress that trails behind her on the floor and somehow decides that it's perfect for her date.

After she pays for it with one of her many credit cards paid for by two kingdoms, she strolls casually down the Magix streets, looking for the perfect shoes to go with it.

She finds them quickly and is about to look for a jewellery store, when she hears someone behind her.

She looks around and sees no-one.

Somehow, she feels that something is very wrong and waves her hands and sends her precious garments back to Alfea, just in case.

She walks past an alley and feels some shadows wrap around her.

She panics, seeing only darkness for a full minute or two, before reappearing in a creepy looking building that doesn't look like anywhere in Magix.

"Welcome to our humble abode, Flamer." Glacier sneers.

"_Glacier._ What the hell are you doing here?! What am _I _doing here?!" Flamer says angrily.

"_I_ brought you here and I don't think Glacier appreciates you talking to her like that!" Shadow fires a spell at Flamer that makes her feel terrible pain.

As soon as Shadow lets up, Flamer transforms.

"I'll make you pay for that, Trix 2.0!" Flamer screams, her hair turning to fire.

One poorly described fight scene later, Flamer has been frozen to a tree outside and is struggling against it.

"LET ME GO OR ELSE YOU'LL PAY!" Flamer shouts.

"Nah, we don't think so. Your mother had something our mothers wanted and you have something _we _want. The Dragon's Flame." Glacier cackles evilly.

Flamer's eyes widen in fear. "No!"

"Yes!" Glacier smirks as she, Shadow and Cloud fly a few inches off the ground and summon the Whisperian Crystals that were passed down to them from their mothers.

They have the Dragon's Flame! Oh no!

"MUAHAHAHAHAHA!" The witches cackle in unison as Flamer collapses onto the forest floor.

What will the Trix 2.0 do now?

Let's see, shall we?

We are back at Alfea a few days later and everyone is fighting a newly resurrected Army of Decay. The Red Fountain boys as well as the Cloud Tower witches are helping to fight.

"SOLAR SWEEP!" Sunny flies above several monsters, taking them out with a large ray of sunlight from the Sceptre of Solaria that her mother passed down to her, but they reform anyway.

"This is no good!" Digita cries.

"We need to find out what happened to Flamer!" Melody cries after sound waves bounce right back at her when she cast them on a flying monster.

"They stole the Dragon Flame is what happened to her obviously!" River exclaims.

"Someone has to find her!" Flower makes some vines wrap around a monster and throws it over the gate.

"I'll go!" Sunny exclaims.

"Me too!" River exclaims.

"I suggested it. I'll go too!" Flower exclaims.

And off they go, in search of their missing friend.

While all of this is happening, Flamer has found a mysterious lake and is inside it talking to her Aunt Daphne.

"You are weak and depressed because you let the Trix 2.0 do to you what the original Trix did to Bloom. You must believe in yourself and your powers will come back!" Daphne says wisely.

"Okay!" Flamer suddenly becomes perky again and swims up to the surface, which coincidentally River, Flower and Sunny are just flying above and spot her.

"FLAMER!" They cry in joy and fly down.

"Where were you?" Sunny asks.

"The Trix 2.0 kidnapped me when I was out shopping for my date with Edward! The nerve." Flamer pouted. "But never mind that! I have to be all awesome and go kick their ass just like my mother did the first time with their mothers!" Flamer exclaims and they all cheer.

They fly back to Alfea and their fight is almost exactly like the one the original Winx Club had at the end of Season 1.

After Flamer flies down from the sky and hands over an unconscious Glacier to the authorities, her boyfriend Prince Edward of Sparkletopia, a handsome fellow with brown hair and golden brown eyes, twirls her around and goes in for a kiss, which makes the other girls cheer even more than they did when they realized that they finally beat the Trix 2.0.

After that, everyone is partying and dancing.

All the parents have been invited and are dancing around as well.

Queen Bloom of Domino-Eraklyon looks at her daughter with Prince Edward and smiles.

"Don't they remind you of us?" She asks her husband, who is seated next to her at a table with the other Winx Club members and their husbands.

"Yeah, they do…" Sky smiles.

River and Melody are dancing together and they have this Les Yay vibe like their mothers did, Digita is playing videogames in an outdoor area that was set up for that purpose, Sunny is flirting with random boys and Flower is admiring the flower arrangements.

And thus ends the tale of Winx Club 2.0.

The End.

At least until another villain that suspiciously resembles Lord Darkar comes along…

* * *

Not as funny as the others, but just as bad on purpose, I think. I hate next-gen stories that make the daughters just like their parents. Everyone goes to Alfea at the same time; they're all best friends and fight Generation Xeroxes of the Trix. Urgh.

Suggestions still welcomed!


	6. The Fairy Fanbrat

The average Winx Club fanbrat, also known as _spoilt child, needs-to-grow-up _or _can't-take-concrit _is in its natural habitat.

We see a little girl, probably about eleven years old, sitting at her computer in her bedroom, the walls of which are covered in posters of One Direction, Justin Bieber, Twilight and other annoying things. She is a remarkably ordinary looking girl, regardless of what she thinks. She has frizzy dark brown hair with split ends pulled into a messy shoulder-length ponytail, brown eyes behind glasses, an acne problem and her nose actually runs like a normal person. She also has about as much fashion sense as… _what_ fashion sense? Her clothes are the colour of Pepto-Bismol with a few melted LifeSavers thrown into the concoction!

This fanbrat, known as Liana in real life and winxbloomluvurfan02 online has just signed up for fanfiction dot net a few days ago. She heard about it from her friend at school, who is also another fanbrat.

Her favourite cartoon is Winx Club so she decided to write an awesome story for it. It would be totally awesome!

Plot? What plot? Who needs a plot?

Spelling and grammar? What are those?

She cracks her knuckles and "works" on her "masterpiece".

What is it called, you might ask?

It's called: _**winx club my way.**_

What an original title…

What are the main characters in this story, might you ask?

Not any characters we can recognize.

Most of the cast consists of OC's and not the good kind of OC's…

"Let's see…" winxbloomluvurfan02 pauses… Thinking? Certainly not!

"_Liana Smith lives in Begoniaville. she is in park with cute pet rabbit fiko when he see someting spetakuler. What culd it bi? Not gud at summaris plz rviw."_

PERFECT SUMMARY!

Let's read (or attempt to read) Liana/winxbloomluvurfan02's story.

_It is sunni dai in begoniaville sun shining, clouds flyffi and whyte. _

_Liana Smith is relaxing in the park with her pink rabbit fiko when she runs off to chase a butterfly._

_Seconds later, she is back and squealing loudly in fear._

_What is it, fkio? She ask._

_Fiko leads her to clearing and explosions ring out._

"_YAH! SPARKLING RIBBONS!"_

_A girl with lustrous dark green hair, gold sceptre and wings waves it at ghouls._

Several poorly described scenes which are more like a carbon copy of the first episode of Winx Club later, the first chapter is finished.

Liana turns out to be… _a fairy _and the strange girl in the park is a fairy too, who ends up taking her to Alfea too.

Surprised?

Yeah, I'm not surprised either.

Those who have survived to the end of the chapter are thanking the Great Dragon that their brains survived it as well.

winxbloomluvurfan02 however is clueless to this and thinks she has done a fantastic job. It is the best thing ever!

Her mother calls her for dinner so she goes downstairs to get it.

Later on, she decides to check her story and see her reviews. They will be full of such praise for her great work, her masterpiece!

She then clicks the reviews page… but what's this?

There are people who actually _don't_ like her story?

Why, this fact is just beyond her limited comprehension!

_Reviews for __**winx club my way:**_

**MapleLeafMeg:**

_Please, get a Beta reader. Your spelling and grammar could so with some work._

**MagixDove:**

_This… this is a joke, right? You cannot actually be serious! My dog could write better fanfiction than this! This doesn't look like you put any work into it at all!_

**RascalReader:**

_This just looks like a carbon copy of the show. Please, do some revision before you put your writing up…_

**WitchPlease!:**

_This… Wow. The grammar and spelling have a few obvious issues (at least obvious to me and not you). You really should revise your work before you publish it. It COULD be better if you put some actual work into it…_

**TeamTrix:**

_What the flying fudgesticks did I just read?_

_**anon:**_

_This story sucks! Go set yourself and your computer on fire and spare the rest of us this torment! YOU SUCK!_

_**anon 2:**_

_This story is full of shit. If I could report stories for being full of fail, I would. Still, at least I can report this for your abysmal failure at language which I have. Give up and stop slaughtering the English language. You type like you're high on a combination of whiskey and PCP and your keyboard is broken. Once again, FULL. OF. SHIT._

The fanbrat trembles angrily in her chair. How _dare_ they actually give her negative reviews! Everyone is supposed to like her story and fill her reviews box with rainbows and sparkles and _nice_ reviews!

She angrily brings up a blank document and types up an angry author's note to put up as a chapter, never mind that this is against the rules of the site. Wait, what rules? She totally ignored those!

_**To all my haters:**_

_**FUCK OFF YOU TROLLS! U GUISE R JUST GEALOUS THAT I CAN RIGHT BETTER THAN U! I GONNA BLOK U IF YOU SAY BAD THINGS ABOUT MI STORI SINCE YOU IS ALL JUST PATHETIC TROLLS WITH NO LIFE. THIS STORY IS COOL! BACK THE FUCK OFF AN LEAV MI ALON!**_

Feeling somehow satisfied that this rather articulate and mature author's note has gotten across her point, she goes to bed.

The next afternoon after school where she complained bitterly to her friend Cara aka sparkleshine_bloomfan02, she decides to go check on her story again, sure that her "loyal fans" will rally around her and give her support against "the evil trolls."

_Reviews for __**winx club my way:**_

_**sparkleshine_bloomfan02**_

_u tell dem, Liana! Them trolls don't kno what dey talink aboot!_

See? She _knew_ she'd have people rallying around her!

But then she reads the rest and starts to turn red in anger.

**WinxWriter_M**

_Someone told me about this so I had to come read it for myself. Wow. Those people who reviewed you weren't trolls. (Well, most of them anyway.). This little author's note of yours is pathetic._

**MapleLeafMeg**

_If I wanted to deal with bratty children, I'd go to the "problem class" at the kindergarten school I teach at. Keep on with your sub-par writing then._

**TeamTrix**

_Seriously? Grow the hell up, you little brat. Not everyone's going to like your "work"._ _You just make the rest of us Americans look bad…_

**MagixDove**

_One word: REPORTED._

_**anon:**_

_What do we have here? The fanbrat in their natural habitat? Pathetic little child. Go back to your hole. No one wants the likes of you here._

**RascalReader**

_All we did was point out a couple errors in your story and offer ideas on how to improve. You don't want that? Fine. I won't read any of your "stories" ever again. _

_**anon 2:**_

_story still sucks. Go to hell and never come back._

**WitchPlease!:**

_So this is how things are, aren't they? People offer you some advice on how you can get better and this is how you thank them? Child, you don't have any "haters". You're nothing but a pathetic, snot-nosed little brat. Oh, and I also reported this chapter for being just an author's note. Good bye and have a good day. (And perhaps a good story idea.)_

Liana/winxbloomluvurfan02 has by this point turned as red as Bloom's hair.

One can almost see the steam pouring out of her ears.

She bangs the keyboard in frustration and it explodes.

A beat passes.

Then the CPU explodes, overloaded with her crappy fanfiction.

Then the monitor explodes, sending her flying across the room.

The mouse also explodes.

Then the desk explodes.

And finally, Liana/winxbloomluvurfan02 explodes as well, from anger.

The world is one fanbrat less and the fanfiction masses cheer.

"_**DING DONG! THE FANBRAT'S DEAD!"**_

* * *

Aah! The fanbrat in all its glory. Or not. Not so much parodying the stories of this fandom as it is parodying some of the writers and reviewers in this fandom.

Suggestions still welcomed!


	7. Oh, The Angst!

The entire cast of Winx Club was feeling sad. Oh so very sad. They were all really down about life. Boy, were they depressed.

Why were they depressed, might you ask? Wouldn't you like to get inside their psyche and figure out what has them all in such a melancholy mood? Wouldn't that just make your day? If you're some sort of sadist, then sure. If you love to read about pointless and poorly written drivel about fictional people's problems, then you're all set.

Welcome to the place where we step from "tragic past" to "laden with so many problems we wonder why they haven't been committed to a mental institution/killed themselves".

Take a glance around the fandom and you will happen upon our first mental patient/victim. His name is Riven.

Oh Riven. The angst-filled, dysfunctional Riven. In canon he has cause to be angsty. However fanfiction writers seem to enjoy torturing him even more than he apparently already has been.

Riven's mother abandoned him when he was young so he had to grow up motherless. Poor Riven! His father had disappeared into thin air without a clue as to what had happened to him. Riven was as good as an orphan.

He had to fend for himself on the streets. He had to be tough. He had to brave rough conditions.

Then he had a random flashback.

He fell in love with a random Mary-Sue. But then she died. Violently. Right in front of him. Other horrible stuff.

But then he got a scholarship to Red Fountain. But he soon fell in love again with Musa.

But then she died violently in front of him too.

He became even more depressed.

We are supposed to cry at this display of emotions, but we end up laughing or shaking our heads at the writer's poor understanding of people with actual problems.

Expect a ridiculous author's note saying that this story was inspired by their pet dying or getting an F at school.

We now turn our attention to another depressed individual.

Musa. Oh, poor Musa. She too was feeling depressed.

Her parents had been brutally murdered right in front her eyes. This changed her life forever. She was now an empty shell of an orphan.

She had become a musician because someone told her that her voice sounded nice and offered her a recording contract. She became a big star, but was still all depressed and lonely on the inside.

She dove into the stardom without looking back.

Then one day, she met the handsome and mysterious Riven, a brooding drummer in a band. He was so… handsome and mysterious! She fell in love immediately.

But then that wonderful romance came to a tragic end when they both died in an accident.

How sad.

But then they became ghosts and were together in the afterlife. Perhaps this story wasn't so angsty after all…

Expect the author to include an author's note saying that this story was inspired by a Paramore song.

We now move onto everyone's favourite blonde, a certain Princess Stella of Solaria. Or at least, she had been a princess until our fanfiction writers got hold of her…

You see, Stella had been degraded from princess status to a mere kitchen maid. She had to work from dusk to dawn with no breaks in between.

Her mother had died, her father had been murdered by his newest wife Cassandra and her horrible daughter Chimera had taken her place as Princess. They taunted her all the time and called her CinderStella because of how dirty she used to get cleaning up after them all the time.

Her friends had all already died tragic deaths and she was so lonely!

Then along came a prince from a faraway land, called Prince Brandon. He was her knight in shining armour.

They began a secret, torrid affair and he promised to one day rescue her from her stepmother's evil clutches.

But that day never came.

Prince Brandon was killed in a war defending his kingdom.

She never saw him again.

She was so sad…

Moving on, we have everyone's favourite apparently androgynous Specialist, Helia. Helia was already a quiet brooding individual, but we'll be making him brood even more in this story.

Poor, quiet, artist Helia was a poor, starving artist. He painted portraits of people on the streets of Magix, yet the people never fully appreciated his wonderful art skills.

He had sold art for a living ever since his wicked, abusive parents kicked him out of their house. Man, was it bittersweet. On the one hand, he escaped his evil abusive parents and on the other hand, he had nowhere to live…

Poor Helia, the poor, homeless, starving artist.

Then a beautiful girl named Flora came into his life when she asked him to do her portrait.

It was love at first sight.

He eventually gets to paint her nude like that one scene in the Titanic movie.

And of course like the Titanic, this wonderful romance must come to a horrible, tragic end.

Poor, poor Helia…

Moving on, we have three very, _very_ tragic witches, who are actually sad and depressed instead of angry and raging.

Who are these witches might you ask?

They are Icy, Darcy and Stormy.

Poor Trix. They had had such a hard life.

You see, these sisters had been forced to watch their parents be brutally murdered in front of their eyes (because killers these days totally want an audience).

Their parents were shot/stabbed/strangled/poisoned/dunked in acid/cursed/forced to read bad fanfiction.

Poor Trix.

So they were shipped off to an evil, abusive orphanage where they went and received their required credit of angst inducing abuse.

Then one day they snapped and killed everyone in the orphanage and burnt it down, somehow covering up their roles in the whole thing.

That was how they became evil.

Then years later, they went to Cloud Tower.

Then they all fell in love with Bloom/Riven/Sky/Flora/Cordatorta/Knut/a random OC.

If you want to make it even more angsty, they fell in love with _each other._

One completely confusing and tangled love decagon later they were all very torn. Who were they really in _true love_ with? When they finally decided, they all rejected one another so they could stop with this foolish love business and get back to angsting/being evil.

Then one day, they took over the school to prove to themselves that they could still actually do something evil. No one knew that beyond their evil exteriors, there was someone who was sad and just needed a hug…

But alas, they were beaten by the Winx Club and sent to prison, where their angst went up to even higher levels of angst.

Then we have Diaspro.

Poor Diaspro.

What the hell. Diaspro is an evil bitch who deserves no sympathy so we shall go check in on another angsty character.

Let's move onto Bloom then. Everyone's _favourite_ character.

She had lots of angst. She got abused. She fell in love with Sky/Valtor/Flora/Stella/Kiko. But then they all died so she killed herself so she wouldn't have to stick around and have more bad things happen to her.

In every story, the formula is almost _always_ the same. No matter who it is. From Flora to Faragonda, no one is spared.

They all have tragic, angst filled pasts.

They get abused.

They fall in love and have a torrid love affair.

The love affair comes to a tragic end or perhaps the person didn't love them back.

Someone dies.

They have even more angst.

Poor characters. They just can't seem to catch a break, can they?

* * *

People with problems taken to the max… I'm sure you might have noticed some of this at least…

Keep the reviews and suggestions coming! :)


	8. Magix High School

It was a brand new school year at the prestigious, high-class, expensive private high school called Magix High.

The students all waked along the halls chattering excitedly about the summer vacation they just had where they travelled to the most exotic planets and went shopping for the most expensive designer brands in all the dimensions.

In this high school, there was a very popular clique of girls who called themselves the Winx Club. Their names were Bloom, Flora, Stella, Musa, Tecna and Aisha.

But also in this school, there were other rival cliques. There was a clique who called themselves the Betas, whose leader was a girl named Chimera.

There was also one whose leader was Mitzi, a clique who was led by a girl named Krystal and yet another clique who was led by Diaspro.

But the nastiest one of them all was a clique called the Trix, which consisted of Icy, Darcy and Stormy.

Anyway, the Winx Club were walking along the hallways when they were confronted by the Trix.

"Hey Winx. We're going to confront you and star a fight for no reason other than the fact that we hate you!"

"Yeah? Well, we'll stay here and fight you for no reason other than the author is making us do this crap!" Bloom exclaimed.

So they had a big, giant catfight and the whole school watched until Principal Faragonda had to come in with all the other teachers to part the fight and they all got detention.

Then of course, they all had secret crushes on a group of boys who called themselves the Specialists. Their names were Sky, Brandon, Timmy, Helia, Nabu and Riven.

But oh no! They were already dating other girls! Sky was dating Diaspro and Helia was dating Krystal! The other Specialists were dating other random OC's that nobody cares about and are only there to be a romantic false lead!

They girls get into even more catfights with these romantic rivals and the Specialists being as clueless as they are have no clue that the Winx Club all have crushes on them despite the fact that they are beating the everloving crap out of their rivals!

Then a few months later we skip to the infamous school dance/prom/some sort of school-sponsored social event which everyone is expected to bring a date if they go.

By this point, the Specialists have already broken up with the evil bitchy girlfriends to be with the Winx who are their true high-school sweethearts.

No one seems to have a problem with this. No one. Except the girls they broke up with, but they're not important so they don't count.

Kinda like a certain love triangle in canon, but nobody cares about that, right?

They might have gotten they guys they love, but all the other cliques who hate them are teaming up to humiliate them at the dance! Oh no!

_Dun, dun, dun…_

The dance comes and everyone is wearing lavishly described outfits and dresses and elaborate hairstyles that would be impossible to do or manoeuvre about in without magic. Of course, since this is a normal High School AU fic, nobody has any powers even though having powers is the main part of the show…

So they are all dancing at the dance and having a wonderful time until suddenly, the old, ignored, evil girlfriends all walk past simultaneously and throw drinks at them, totally ruining their new outfits!

Everyone sees this and all the rival cliques start to laugh while some of the Winx Club members start to cry!

The bolder ones move forward to defend their friends and soon it's a free for all in the school gym that takes fifty police officers to break apart!

The school gets put on lockdown and the only people arrested are the rivals of the Winx Club clique! Isn't that grand?

They all go out to celebrate with their love interests/cameos.

Later on, they are at their graduation ceremony, hugging each other and crying and laughing and promising to be friends forever.

Then they go off into the sunset with their loving boyfriends who hardly ever played a role in the story.

The end.

* * *

This wasn't really all that funny to me, but hey. It's still a parody of all those High School AU fics out there. Hope you liked it anyway!

Also, go check out my new Captain Planet crossover! I'm sure you'll like it!

Suggestions still welcomed!


	9. Falling into Magix

One day, the Winx Club members went shopping for some new clothes in Magix.

They had just gotten back from helping Roxy get settled in Alfea and were off relaxing for a change.

"Come on girls! Let's go in here!" Stella practically pulled them into a nearby store.

Meanwhile, somewhere on Earth, there was an ordinary looking teenage girl with black hair and blue eyes wearing all pink, like someone cast her as an extra in a Barbie Princess movie.

She was watching Winx Club while pointlessly describing her uninteresting life when suddenly…

A swirling pink vortex appeared on the TV! Oh no!

The girl felt herself being dragged into the portal! Oh no!

The portal closed up while she was in there! OH NO!

Back in Magix…

"Stella, aren't you done in there?" Bloom complained. "We've been in there for a whole hour!"

"Sometimes it takes more than that to create the perfect look, Bloom! Anyway, I'm coming out now. You guys need to tell me what you th- AAH!"

Stella ran out of the closet screaming as a bright pink portal flashed and a girl in clothing a brighter pink than the portal fell out.

"Urgh. Where am I? What happened to me? One minute I'm like, totally sitting in my room watching Winx Club while describing my like, boring, highly uninteresting life and now I'm, like, just randomly like, inside this dressing room!" The girl glanced up and saw the Winx Club staring down at her incredulously.

"Oh my gosh! It's like, the Winx Club! EEE!" The girl squealed, launching herself onto Bloom.

"Bloom! Oh my gosh! You're like the _best_ character ever!" She and Bloom fell to the floor with a thud.

The other Winx Club members continued to look on in disbelief.

"OMG! It's like totally cool to like, meet you! I totally heart you all, but Bloom is like, my totally like, favourite!"

"_She's also the writers' favourite…"_ Aisha muttered darkly.

"Who the hell are you, what are you doing here and stop butchering our language!" Tecna exclaimed.

"Oh Tecna, there's no need to be so mean!" Bloom said.

"Bloom's right. This girl showing up out of nowhere is perfectly okay. In fact she might even be scared, popping into a new world just like that…" Flora said.

"Yeah. I get the sudden feeling to go clothes shopping with her and totally give her a makeover because that's what I do when I make friends with random girls who fall out of portals from another dimension!" Stella exclaimed.

Tecna, Aisha and Musa recoiled. Bloom and Stella they could understand, but why was Flora acting like an idiot?

"Let's go back to Alfea everyone!" Bloom exclaimed, skipping merrily out the store, hand-in-hand with the mysterious girl.

Later, they are all at Alfea in Miss Faragonda's office.

"So you're saying that you are from another dimension where we only exist as a television show and a cartoon at that?" Faragonda asked.

"That's right!" The girl exclaimed.

"Well then, Mystik-Fyre Sapphire Topaz. You are welcome to stay here at Alfea and be a fairy. In fact, why don't you share the same dorm room as Roxy?"

"Really? I can be a fairy too? Eee! I totally did not see that coming!"

Miss Faragonda smiled.

Then one day, Mystik-Fyre Sapphire Topaz is hanging out with her roommates. She's become extremely popular and has almost everyone wrapped around her finger.

Except Tecna, Musa and Aisha that is.

"She's got to go!" Musa declared.

"She's got all the Red Fountain boys at her beck and call, not to mention _our_ boyfriends…" Tecna muttered darkly.

"This is the only time I'm glad Nabu wasn't here to see this." Aisha grumbled.

"Are we going to sit here and watch someone worse than the Trix in her own way make the plot revolve entirely around her or are we going to do something about it?" Musa asked.

"Do something about it!"

Meanwhile, somewhere in the Infinite Ocean…

"I can't understand why the Winx haven't been back here trying to stop me for weeks, but I ain't complaining! MUAHAHAHA!" Tritannus chuckled.

Back at Alfea, Mystik-Fyre Sapphire Topaz is wearing a pink dress that looks like something a classical princess would wear with whimsical wings and flying high above the courtyard.

"I can't believe I have wings!" She exclaimed.

"Not for long…" Tecna said, flying up to her, Aisha and Musa flanking her.

The Fairy of Technology held up what looked like a handheld version of a canon.

"Ready to go?" The three older fairies asked in unison as Tecna fired.

A pink portal formed around Mystik-Fyre Sapphire Topaz and sucked her in while she started screaming.

"No, I'm not ready at all! In fact, I have lots more plans! You can't do this to me! I still have lots more things to do! Just give some more time! I promise I'll stop messing with canon! I promise! AAH!"

And that was the last anyone ever saw of Mystik-Fyre Sapphire Topaz ever since Tecna sent her back to wherever the hell she came from.

As soon as she was gone, everyone under her spell snapped out of it.

"What just happened?" Bloom groaned.

"Never mind, Bloom. Never mind. Now why don't you go back to hogging the spotlight?" Tecna patted her on the shoulder, speaking in the tone of voice of one explaining one plus one equals two to a stubborn toddler.


	10. Good Girls Gone Bad

"Hey, Bloom! Can I have your autograph?"

"Hey Stella! Any fashion tips?"

"Flora! Any gardening advice?"

The Winx Club, being their usual famous selves, were actually swamped by some people when they went to a local mall in Magix.

Stella, being the diva that she was, enjoyed all the attention, posing for the cameras and smiling brightly as she signed various items her loyal fans handed her.

But of course, somewhere out there was someone who wanted to ruin their day. Not just for shits and giggle wither, but who _really_ wanted to ruin their day.

Some random evil villain OC is watching over them, waiting to plan his move.

What sort of move, do you ask? Well, you'll just have to wait and find out.

Back in Magix Mall, they had finally persuaded the crowd to leave them alone so that they could have their lunch.

When suddenly…

The patrons of the mall begin running around screaming! What's happening? The mall is rocking and it's gone dark outside? Oh no!

"Hello, Winx!"

A mysterious figure descended from the cracking ceiling.

"I hope I haven't shook up things too much for you…" The voice said.

Ignoring the lame dialogue that is subsequently exchanged…

The Winx have all transformed into whatever fairy form they have now. Who cares? They've lost count on the amount of fairy forms they now have!

After one poorly described fight scene, the man suddenly unleashes a mass of black energy that blinds everyone in the mall! Oh no!

Though one wonders why he didn't just use this tactic in the first place. Perhaps he likes long, drawn out fights…

Anyway, when the darkness clears, there's something… _different _about the Winx? What could it be folks? Let's take a closer look:

Their hair is kinda frizzy, their eyes look like they traded eyes with some truly evil looking cats, their fingernails look more like claws and their clothes and wings are all dark colours.

Plus they're cackling evilly. What could it be?

"Come, my new evil minions! Come and join me as I take over all the realms! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Sometime later, they're all hanging out in the evil dude's lair.

Flora's using her powers to feed him fresh grapes from a vine above his throne, Stella and Tecna are on either side of him fanning him with big, palm leaf fans, Musa is playing him music, Aisha is doing his hair and Bloom is giving him a pedicure.

Yes. Because even evil villains need pedicures.

Once it's all done, we get back to his evil plan.

Wait, what plan? We've never even figured out what his plan is! Besides basically turning the Winx evil and kidnapping them…

"Now, we shall begin our quest!" He cackled evilly.

Flora floated over to him and caressed his evil cheek evilly, yet tenderly.

"Yes… Master. We will obey your every order as we help you carry out your evil plan…"

"Great! Let's get going then!" The evil villain said.

Sometime later, the evil Winx are attacking everyone they see and wreaking general chaos in the area of Magix.

Then suddenly, who should come along but the Specialists?

"Girls! Stop this madness now! You're not really evil!" Brandon exclaimed.

"How about… NO!" Stella hurled a blast at him which he narrowly rolled out the way of.

The evil Winx Club members are kicking their asses when a certain Prince Sky of Eraklyon actually comes up with an idea to save their girlfriends/fiancées.

"We have to get through to them! Tell them we love them and it'll work! Just like when Bloom went evil the first time!" Sky exclaimed.

"Oh…" The other guys said.

They all promptly agreed to try this highly unlikely plan.

After saying some sappy crap that most sane women would probably scoffing at, never mind super evil, powerful fairy ones, they wait anxiously for the results.

The Winx fall to the ground screaming as they try to fight off the darkness.

Meanwhile, the villain is just standing there doing nothing, even while he could potentially be losing his very powerful minions. Just what kind of villain is this guy anyway?

Then suddenly, the Winx stop screaming and a bright, white light engulfs them all!

What's happening?

When the light clears, the Winx are all standing there, good as new and no longer evil.

It's then that the bad guy chooses to react.

"NO! How dare you steal my minions from me!" He moves to attack, but the Winx kick his ass in about five seconds flat.

Makes you think: why the hell did they not do this in the beginning and avoid all this trouble happening in the first place?

Answer: Common sense apparently has no place in a fanfiction.

* * *

Kinda blah for me, but I hoped you liked it!

Keep the suggestions and reviews coming!


	11. Love Your Enemy

Bloom was calmly walking down the streets of Magix one day when she was accosted by a villain in a disguise.

"Hello there, Bloom, Fairy of the Dragon's Flame. I am a random villain and I need you for my plan." He said.

"No way!" Bloom exclaimed, getting ready to fight.

However while she was undergoing an extended flashy transformation sequence for whatever fairy form she is at now, the villain was actually smart and attacked her before it could be completed.

"You are now mine!" he declares in triumph as he carries her off.

Somewhere in his deep, dark villain lair, the villain is having a surprisingly calm conversation with his "captive".

"So, what do you like to do when you're not saving the universe from evil villains?" The villain asked.

"Well, before I came to Magix, I was really into drawing, so I like to do that, I like reading a lot, I'm a bit of a daydreamer…" Bloom giggled.

"Well then, I have a surprise for you then." The villain led her over to a door and moved his hand over where a lock would be and the door opened, revealing a giant library.

"Oh my goodness! What a great library! Thank you!" She laughed in joy.

Meanwhile, back in Magix…

Her friends and Sky are searching frantically for Bloom.

"Where could she have gone?"

"Every single season, something happens to her…" Stella muttered.

"Well except that year we spent on Earth…" Musa pointed out.

"Still…" Stella continued. "Why is that? You'd think she'd know how to take care of herself by now, but _no…_"

Back in the evil villain's lair…

"Well, you've sure sold me on your evil ways! Where do I sign up?" Bloom asked her "captor".

"Right…" The villain leaned in and kissed her. "…here…"

As they leaned in and kissed, an evil, bright light surrounded them and when it cleared, Bloom looked so much more evil than in the last chapter, except this time, she's gone evil willingly.

Now I've heard people talking about wonderful kisses they've had, how they felt wonderful, it was nothing like they felt before, blah, blah, blah, but this is ridiculous. Stockholm Syndrome to the max…

"Now, my Dark Queen, shall we go take over the Magical Dimension?" The villain said.

"Sure!" Bloom giggled evilly as they went off to cause chaos in all the realms.

"I'll turn you into a crisp!" Bloom laughed as she threw some fire towards Sky.

This is a scene that is causing mixed feelings in the audience. On the one hand, the people who hate Sky are actually cheering for her and hoping she succeeds, but on the other hand, the Bloom/Sky shippers are probably crying their eyeballs out/flaming the writer…

"I love this mysterious villain now. He's powerful, intelligent, and handsome. He's _everything_ I could want in a man and he doesn't have a _ridiculous_ haircut!" Bloom kissed the mysterious villain again.

"Bloom, no! You love Sky, remember?" Flora said.

"Yeah, you're engaged to him! You're going to marry him!" Stella dodged a blast from the villain.

"Not anymore she doesn't! She loves me now!" The evil villain exclaimed.

"And I will be happy to have his heirs!" Bloom set Sky's hair on fire and he ran around screaming. Bloom simply watched him in amusement as she repelled any other attacks from anyone else as if they were merely flies that bothered her.

"Okay, now that we're done wrecking Magix, let's go set up our royal palace as the Emperor and Empress of all the dimensions!" The villain said.

As Emperor and Empress of all the Magical Dimensions, they made all of the people their slaves. They had beautiful evil children who grew up to be hot evil adults that carry on the evil empire.

This could have been a really fascinating story. Love developing between two people in different factions. Potential for an interesting psychological drama/romance. Exploring how love can change a person for better or worse. Unfortunately, the writer just thought that these two people looked hot together and decided to put them together in a romance story just because they could.

Never mind that they hate each other's guts/want to kill each other in canon. The author can't be bothered explaining how they made the jump from enemies to lovers…

* * *

I've read stories like this and they were absolutely terrible. On the other hand, there are some authors that write pretty good "falling in love with the enemy" stories too...

Also, if you're into Harry Potter, go check out my new crossover _**Specialist Potter**_! And if you're a fan of **_LoveLoveLovix_**'s **_Fly or Fall_**, check out my Total Drama Series crossover_** A Natural Gift: Dawn's Story**_, which was inspired by FOF! I'm sure you'll like them both!


	12. Google Doesn't Exist In Magix

**_Today, 13th March, 2013 is the Underground Fanfictioners group's 1st birthday! I dedicate this chapter to all the members there!_**

* * *

The fanbrat from Chapter 6's friend is back. After Liana's/winxbloomluvurfan02's funeral when she died of spontaneous combustion, Cara aka sparkleshine_bloomfan02 came back home and decided to write some fanfiction to comfort herself.

Just drumming out something random and calling it a story is her idea of being a real author. She hasn't even bothered to double check her facts. Let's have a look at her story called _**Winx Club Adventures**_:

"_The Winx Club enjoyed their vacation in Barbados, which is in the Caribbean, therefore it is in Jamaica. They went and had a good time. Then they learned that they had to go to Milwaukee, Texas to look for another fairy besides Roxy. The new fairy's name is Sana'a; she is Greek American and descended from an ancient Mesopotamian goddess Venus who is the Muse of Astronomy._

_She was on her way to see her aunt who lives in Los Angeles, Nevada but she is attacked by some evil forces who want her power over Life. This also gives her the power to control everything else. _

_The Winx Club stop the attack and rescue her before anything terribly bad can happen._

_Then we find out that Musa is the current Princess of Melody. The villain wants her too! Flora and Helia are having relationship issues in the meantime. Because of Princess Crystal, they are pretty much the new Musa and Riven._

_Roxy is at Alfea doing homework in the library on the history of Domino, the capital of which is Sparx. She is writing that the names of the Ancestral Witches who destroyed it are Tally, Beatrice and Linda._

_Back on Earth in the story, Sana'a is safe in Tir Nan Og for now while the Winx Club talks with Queen Morgana and Nebula, catching up on the latest news in the realms."_

Hmph. At least her spelling and grammar is better than her friend's, but there are so many things so wrong with that story…

At this point, the readers are wondering what the hell they just read. Her grammar and spelling might be better than her friend's but her plot still doesn't make any sense.

Among other things…

Later that day, she goes to check the reviews:

_Reviews for __**Winx Club Adventures: **_

**WitchPlease!:**

_The hell? Barbados isn't in Jamaica! Don't you do some sort of Geography at school?_

**anon:**

_The errors! They hurt my brain!_

**RascalReader:**

_You didn't do any sort of research before you wrote this, did you?_

"_Why should I?"_ She thinks to herself. _"Research isn't important, right?"_

"Oh well. It's my story and it's just on the Internet, so why should I care?" She asks aloud.

About a week later, she publishes the next chapter.

"_Sana'a has gone back to Earth after a week at Alfea to take care of some important business. She and the Winx Club have to go to Panama, South America to find a Pyramid of Charms that has magical powers. They visit Diana, the Major Fairy of Nature when there._

_They find the Pyramid of Charms has all the Muses imprisoned inside it. There are only seven of them in all that ever existed, including Venus. To free them, Sana'a must grow strong enough to unlock the Pyramid herself, so she goes back to Alfea to train. Princess Musa is captured and the only way to free her from the enemy is to unlock the pyramid and let the Muses do the fighting. Oh no! What will they do now?"_

_Reviews for__** Winx Club Adventures:**_

**ChicaHada:**

_Um, excuse me. I am from Panama so I can tell you that my country is definitely not in South America. Near to South America yes, but not actually in it. It's in Central America…_

**LupitaFuego:**

_I'm actually from South America myself so I can agree with ChicaHada's assessment that Panama is certainly NOT in America…_

**WitchPlease!:**

_*facepalm*_ _That is all._

**GreekScribe:**

_For the love of Zeus, please do us all a favour and stop trying to write about Mythology…_

"Nope, nope, nope. Research isn't important. I can still write what I want to…" Cara is in denial.

**MapleLeafMeg:**

_Wow. I'm amazed at the amount of geographical fail here. Plus the fact that you actually got some of the CANON CHARACTERS' names wrong! And not even like a typo, like WAY OFF! And Nebula's the queen now. Morgana gave her the crown because she wanted to live a normal life with Roxy and Klaus…_

"_**RESEARCH IS NOT IMPORTANT!" **_Cara aka sparkleshine_bloomfan02 screams.

_**anon:**_

_You're STILL writing this junk? COME ON! If you're gonna write something crap, can you at least get SOME of your facts straight?_

"_**NOT IMPORTANT! NOT IMPORTANT! NOT IMPORTANT! RESEARCH IS NOT IMPORTANT!"**_

"What was that you just screamed about?" A female voice says quietly in the doorway.

Cara turns around to see her mother aka a _teacher _in the doorway. Uh-oh…

"You say research is not important?" Her mother says quietly as she walks over to the computer.

By now, Cara is starting to sweat buckets.

"What is this… this tripe you put up on the internet? Plus the few people that told you there was a problem you cursed at them more than a sailor would?"

"_Oh no…"_ Cara thinks.

"You're grounded and while you are, you're going to be getting _a lot more_ English assignments from me, young lady!" Her mother exclaims.

Cara bursts out in tears as her mother begins to put password and time locks on her profile in the family's computer.

* * *

I HATE it when people don't even bother double-checking their facts. _**HATE**_ it. They just make shit up off the top their heads like I did in this chapter but they're actually _serious_ about it. And heaven help you if you tell them they got something wrong…

Thank you so much for your reviews and suggestions so far! This story is actually making me want to write a legit story from some of these plots…


	13. Unreliable Narrators

_**Bloom POV**_

I was in the Alfea courtyard just hanging out with my friends. The Winx Club. Because I have no other friends, you know? Anyway, I'm just hanging out with them when some random student just runs towards us! What could she possibly want?

_**Stella POV**_

So I'm like: sitting with the other Winx Club girls in the courtyard. I'm painting my fingernails in Royal Purple and using a spell to do my toenails in the same colour at the same time when a student comes running out to us!

_**Random Student POV**_

"_Miss Faragonda sent me to get you all and deliver a message!"_ I said, feeling out of breath. I was so glad to be selected by Miss Faragonda to deliver a simple message! I never got a chance to the Winx before and now I can, even if only for a few minutes. EEE!

_**Tecna POV**_

"_So what's the message, Random Student?"_ I asked, going through my Magical PDA logically.

"_She says you must come to her office now and that she has an important mission for you! She says a new evil has arisen!"_ Random Student exclaimed.

_**Miss Faragonda POV**_

The girls entered my office looking serious. I'm glad the student messenger I sent got the message to the Winx…

"_Ladies, I must tell you of an important evil threatening the universe. She is an evil witch named Discordia. She hails from a distant realm called Crystaliana and is seeing to destroy us and a new student here."_

"_Who is the new student?"_ Flora asked.

"_She will be here soon."_ I said.

"_I'm already here!"_ A voice said from the doors as we all turned to look.

_**New Student POV**_

I flicked aside my long, luxurious locks as I stepped into the room. _"Hello everyone. I am Princess Kizarina of Crystaliana. I am the Fairy of the Elements and Discordia is actually my aunt. She broke away from the royal family when my mother, who is her twin sister and a fairy like me was made queen instead of her_…"

"_That's terrible!"_ Musa exclaimed.

"_I know. That's why I came to Alfea instead of being homeschooled. It's the best at what it does and has good security!"_ I exclaimed.

_**Discordia POV**_

A lot of people seem to think that I only want to kill my niece Kizarina because my fairy sister got the throne of Crystaliana They're wrong.

_Partially._

That- and the fact that she's annoying as hell…

Plus she's oh-so-perfect in the way that makes you want to puke. Just like her mother. Ugh.

Enough of this bitching. I have work to do.

_**Musa POV**_

"_Yeah, Kizarina! You can do it! Work it!" _I cheered for my new friend Kiz as she danced to a CD I recorded earlier. She's really great at this and a lot of other things! "Whee!" She laughs and giggles as she dances. This is really fun to watch!

_**Flora POV**_

Kiz is really good with plants. She may not exactly be a nature fairy like me, but the Earth section of her wonderful and powerful elemental powers certainly covers that! She helped heal my mini rose garden! She's so sweet…

_**Aisha POV**_

I am actually having fun with Kiz. I didn't hink I would e too fond of her at first, but she turned out to be okay! Hey! She's another princess who rides motorbikes and likes sports like I do!

_**Discordia POV**_

"IT'S FINALLT TIME TO LAUNCH MY EVIL PLAN!" I laugh evilly and the Trix laugh with me.

Oh, didn't I mention them earlier? No? Oh well. I'm mentioning them now. They're well qualified for the job, considering their records for working as minions for more powerful people in the past few years…

We're outside Alfea now, waiting for that brat _Kizarina _to show her overly made-up mug.

"ATTACK!" I command as I see Winx Club and Kizarina emerge into the courtyard

_**Kizarina POV**_

The ground is shaking, the sky has gone dark and everyone is screaming! What is happening?

I hear my evil aunt's voice suddenly behind me and I turn to dodge the evil spell I hear her cast and it narrowly misses me! Humph! Why can't she love me like everyone else?

I transform into my purple ballerina outfit with silver butterfly wings and my silky blonde hair is up in a bun.

I fight and with all the training I got in the past year, I manage to beat my evil aunt easily.

"NOOOO!" She screams, as she sinks to the ground, powerless.

I look around to see the Winx beating the Trix again and shrug. Oh well, looks like this issue is gone for good and I'm now totally safe from anyone who would want to hurt me! Isn't life grand?

_**Kiko POV**_

"_Munch, munch, munch, munch, munch."_ These the only noises I make as I sit in my mistress' closet, eating her clothes while she's out at the annual "defend Alfea from evil attackers" celebratory party. These clothes actually taste pretty good. But not as good as Stella's salad dress I had a few months ago. I wonder if she has more? I must go to her closet too and see!

* * *

Make up your mind already which POV the story will be in! Sheesh!

_Ideas welcome because I'm starting to run out of them._


	14. Crossover Conundrums

I have a new story up called _**Magix's Next Top Model**_, a parody of America's Next Top Model with Stella as the host! Check my profile to see how your character could be part of it!

* * *

The Winx Club and Specialists were walking together in Magix when several portals opened in succession around them.

Preparing for a fight, they all transformed/got out their weapons.

Suddenly, people came flying right through the portals!

Harry Potter, Edward Cullen, Katniss Everdeen, Erza Scarlet, L Lawliet, Taranee Cook and several other characters from several other fandoms appeared!

"Where am I?" Harry asked, puzzled.

"I'd like to know too..." Taranee said in the same tone.

"_I wonder if Kira did this somehow..."_ L thought.

"Who are you people?" Bloom asked, startled, holding up a fireball, just in case.

"I think I should ask you the same thing." Taranee held up a fireball as well. Who was this other girl and how the hell could she manipulate fire too? Only the Fire Guardian could do that!

"What the hell is going on here? This isn't the Hunger Games- not that I want to be there!" Katniss strung up her bow and arrow.

"HOLD UP HERE!" Musa cast a spell on herself and the others to make herself and the others sound louder so they wouldn't have to strain her voice to sound louder.

"We don't know what's really happened so we should all bring you random strangers who just appeared out of portals from nowhere back to our school where several young, unqualified fairies are just to see if we can trust you!" Bloom suggested.

Despite not knowing each other very well, all the characters from other fandoms that came out of nowhere and the Winx Club characters all decide to go to Alfea together to find out what the hell is going on.

They get there and Faragonda fits everyone into her office as she tells them what has happened because apparently, she knows _everything._

"All of you characters from other fandoms have somehow come to Magix from other dimensions and realities." Miss Faragonda said wisely.

"Oh no!" Said Edward, sparkling in the sunlight reflecting through the windows. "How do I get back to my perfect family now?"

"Yes. Something could happen to my family if I don't get back to Panem now! One does not just escape from the Hunger Games in a bright flash of light like I did!" Katniss cried.

"I was in the middle of an S-Class mission and I do NOT appreciate being sucked into an alternate dimension like that!" Erza started looking angry (angrier) and the various cameos standing near to her inched away.

"Well obviously we have to find a way out of this conundrum..." L said, pulling a plate of cake and a fork out of nowhere and beginning to eat it all by himself as he has a weird condition in fanfiction in which he is only allowed to eat sweets.

Meanwhile in another part of Magix another portal has opened up and Lord Voldemort, Jane, President Snow, Master Jose, Light Yagami with Ryuk in tow and Phobos appeared out of nowhere as well! Oh no!

"Why the hell are we all here? I was just about to have some Chinese food!" Jane grumbled, drawing her cloak around herself so she wouldn't sparkle.

"I have a feeling that we are all here to get revenge on our enemies... though how I know this, I am not certain..." Lord Voldemort hissed.

"I will have my revenge on Ersa and the Fairy Tail Guild..." Master Jose's cameo said.

"I will become the God of Fanfiction and this new world!" Light Yagami cackled along with Ryuk.

President Snow looked around in thought. _"Hmm... So this is where that Katniss Everdeen disappeared to. I will make her pay and figure out a way to bring this place under Panem's control..."_

Phobos' cameo just stood there and thought about Taranee and how since she was separated from Will and the other guardians, it would be a perfect time to take the Guardians out... _permanently..._

So after all the villains get together and decide to work together for revenge on their enemies despite having even more reason not to trust each other since they're villains and all and villains generally tend not to trust other people far less other villains due to the general evil, back-stabbing ways of villains, they head to Alfea which they have somehow figured out is hosting their heroic enemies.

When they get there, the Winx and their new crossover friends/cameos from all sorts of different dimensions and fandoms fight together against the evil villains from other dimensions/fandoms.

After a long, supposedly epic and poorly described fight scene, the villains are defeated and are dispatched to wherever evil villains go when they are defeated.

All the people on the heroic side decide to get together and have a party to celebrate being the winners once again.

When the party is done, they all go back home saying all sorts of wishy-washy goodbyes that are very out of character for them all.

Everyone goes back to their universes and forgets about the adventures they had and apparently the people in their home universes failed to even notice their disappearances as they all say nothing and apparently pretend that nothing has ever happened.

None of this crossover story has made any sense.

Your mind now is twisted in more ways than a pretzel if you actually tried to follow it through to the very end.

And if you ever dare to point that out in the reviews you are immediately treated to a flaming hotter than if Taranee Cook, Bloom and Natsu Dragneel were to all come together to set fire to your computer and make it explode.

* * *

_Crossovers that make __**no. effing.**__**sense.**_

I might wrap this up at Chapter 20 if I can get so many ideas. Keep them coming and we'll see!

Reminding you about my**_ Magix's Next Top Model_ **story. Check it out and see if your character can be part of it!


	15. Cheese Flavoured Lemons

This chapter is a bit disturbing in nature and somewhat pushes its rating. Just a heads-up.

Also, shameless self-promoting for other fics here! Remeber chapter 11 of this fic called **_Love Your Enemy_**? Well I've tried my hand at that kind of story featuring Tecna/Duman. Check out **_Illogical _**and **_Twisted Logic_**, the parts of my one-shot series published so far!

Also, four more spots open for **_Magix's Next Top Model_**! Check that out too!

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We are introduced to a new fanfiction author, whose penname is KatieLovesWinx. She signed up for the site only three days ago. She is getting ready to publish several of her new stories.

However… There are a few… _disturbing_ things about them.

For one thing, they're all lemons.

That in itself is not disturbing.

The lack of knowledge about what generally happens in a lemon is the disturbing part of the stories. Biology fails, flowery words, description that sounds like it came out an instruction manual…

Let's look at some of it, shall we? This particular one is about her favourite couple, Bloom and Sky.

_Bloom and Sky are together after a meeting with the Royal Council on how to defeat Tritannus._

_This meeting of course, did not go well so everyone leaves all angry and frustrated and stuff._

_Bloom and Sky have somehow managed to be alone in the royal palace of Domino and are sitting together on a rather large, luxurious couch._

_"Oh Sky! I don't know why they don't get this council thing over with so we could be all sickeningly love-dovey again!" Bloom exclaimed._

_"Don't worry Bloom. It'll be over soon. And then Diaspro can stop bothering us and be a bitch to someone else!" Sky exclaimed._

_Bloom giggled._

_"I love that!" Bloom said._

_"You know what else I love?" Sky asked, his tone suddenly sultry._

_"What?" Bloom leaned in, answering back in the same tone._

_Sky moved his hand down the back of her dress and began to unzip it…_

_Bloom began to loosen his royal regalia, they proceeded to make out and then…_

This lemon story extract is interrupted due to the fact that this is a T rated story and to include would necessitate the bumping up of this story to M. Plus this author decided to spare you the full trauma of a poorly written lemon.

Plus, wait! That's not all! The author apparently has a deviantArt account at which they post fanart to accompany their stories! The mature filter is on them though. Are you sure you want to click them?

Yes?

Well, okay then…

What's that you say? Your eyes burn? You'd like some brain bleach? You need a bucket to contain your regurgitation?

I did warn you, but did you listen to me? _No…_

Meanwhile, those whose eyes are somehow not burning, who don't need brain bleach (yet), those who aren't puking their guts out or some combination of the previous three actions are plucking up the guts to review this fustercluck of a story.

_Reviews for__** Bloom-Sky Lemon:**_

**MapleLeafMeg:**

My eyes! They burn! Look, I know how this stuff works and this… No. This story doeesn't work at all.

**RascalReader:**

Where the hell did you learn biology? The back of a cereal box? Oh, wait. The cereal box got more of correct than you did…

**_Guest:_**

I looked at your fanart on deviantArt and read this story. I shall never think of Bloom, Sky or Winx Club the same way ever again.

**ReaderPerson:**

I like a good lemon as much as the next lemon liking person, but this disturbed even me. Especially the part where Diaspro and Krystal walked in on them and decided to join in…

**_Guest 2:_**

I saw your art on deviantArt. By mistake. Since you left that picture with Sky and Riven doing the horizontal mambo with the filter off. I have nothing against gay people but I would rather not have seen that. Plus that fic with Valtor raping Flora was just… no… just no.

_Meanwhile in Magix…_

Some sort of inter-realm Internet connection has opened, connecting the people there to deviantArt and fanfiction. net.

The Winx are in their room at Alfea when suddenly Nova and Galatea burst in, screaming.

"Girls, look at this! Look at this!" Galatea almost burst into tears as she waved around her netbook.

Musa took it from her and almost dropped it in her shock of seeing a picture of Nova and Galatea in the nude… going… _down_ on each other…

"My eyes… I need my eyes…" Musa handed the laptop to Stella, running off to bathroom to wash her eyes out.

"Oh my gosh! My boobs are not that big!" Stella unconsciously moved her hands to her chest.

"The hell is this? I'm not in love with Valtor!" Bloom pulled up the fanfiction site on her own laptop.

"And I'm not in love with Duman either!" Tecna looked like she wanted to throw up.

"Aisha, have you seen this picture of us going to third base?" Musa asked in horror.

"I wish I _hadn't…_" Aisha muttered, looking slightly ill.

Flora just sat staring in horror at the story someone wrote pairing her and Krystal- and some fanart someone posted on deviantArt for that same pairing- of a very graphic nature…

_Back in the real world…_

KatieLovesWinx is in shock at the reception her work is getting.

"But my stuff is so hot! Why should people react like that?" She wonders.

"Oh well! Time to write that Faragonda/Saladin/Grifin lemon now. I'm sure they'll _love_ that!"


End file.
